


what a concrete mess we live in

by goinghost



Series: location - blupjeans week 2018 [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, F/M, Getting Together, Texting, Wrong Number AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 22:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14778569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goinghost/pseuds/goinghost
Summary: i stg if u even THINK about touching my sweater after the thing with mags dog last week then i will FIREBALL UR ASSthere better be some T A S T E Y apology macarons when i get home tonighti know ur offghost rider can help make em and it can be a cute date thing i don’t care as long as i get my macaronsHe stared at his phone, unsure of how to respond.Uh. I think you have the wrong number.





	what a concrete mess we live in

**Author's Note:**

> a good ol wrong number au! written for blupjeans week day 3: modern au. i love writing characters texting and this was very fun 
> 
> title from 'location' by freelance whales as all my blupjeans week fic titles are

Barry got the text right as he was leaving office hours. He was a G.A. for an Ethics of the Necromantic Arts course that he’d loved as an undergrad. It hadn’t been busy, his office hours rarely were. He’d found that students prefer to deal with their problems on their own and pray for the best instead of trying to talk them out with someone who might know more than them. 

He’d been walking out of the Arcane Sciences building, laptop case in hand, when his phone had buzzed. Barry rarely got texts, his mother preferred to call and his professors all communicated through email. It wasn’t like he had a lot of friends waiting to get in contact with him. 

He’d slowed down enough to read the dim screen in the sunlight. 

> _ i stg if u even THINK about touching my sweater after the thing with mags dog last week  _ _ then i will FIREBALL UR ASS _
> 
> _ there better be some T A S T E Y apology macarons when i get home tonight _
> 
> _ i know ur off _
> 
> _ ghost rider can help make em and it can be a cute date thing i don’t care as long as i get my macarons _

He stared at his phone, unsure of how to respond. 

> Uh. I think you have the wrong number. 

The response was almost immediate.

> _ lmao i’m guessing u aren’t my dick of a brother huh _
> 
> Nope, sorry.
> 
> _ no need to apologize, i’m sorry for the mix up _
> 
> _ my brother and i just got new phones because we finally got a better cell plan and i _
> 
> _ guess i was a few numbers off when i saved his _
> 
> It’s fine. I hope you get those apology macarons.

There was a long pause before the other person responded and Barry started sweating, thinking of all the ways he had just messed that interaction up. God, he was such an idiot sometimes when it came to people. Why couldn’t he ever have a normal conversation?

But a few minutes later he got a text from the same number. 

> _ pfff yeah i hope so too _
> 
> _ for my bro’s sake at least _

There really was no way for him to respond to that, so he decided to just let the conversation end. 

By the time he was laying in bed after dinner, shirt off and sleep jeans on, he’d completely forgotten about the strange interaction. It wasn’t until he took his glasses off to finally go to sleep that he was startled by his phone buzzing again. It was the number that had texted him earlier. 

> _ finally got my macarons _
> 
> Oh?
> 
> _ just wanted to keep u updated  _
> 
> _ yeah my brother was being a little shit about it but he saw reason eventually _
> 
> Did you “FIREBALL [his] ASS” ??
> 
> _ lmao nah _
> 
> _ but i super did threaten to scorching ray his three best outfits _
> 
> _ maybe more if i felt like casting at a higher slot _
> 
> _ he was appropriately cowed  _
> 
> Were the macarons good??
> 
> _ oh they were t a s t e y tasty _
> 
> _ natch _
> 
> So your brother is a good cook?
> 
> _ sldfkjds _
> 
> ????
> 
> _ sorry i’m just not used to people not knowing  _
> 
> _ yeah he’s got his own restaurant and youtube show and shit _
> 
> _ i’m not too bad myself but i’m mostly too focused on school rn to do much fancy cooking _
> 
> School, huh? Same here. I’m getting my master’s in necromancy
> 
> _ dude that’s so wild _
> 
> _ i’m in my first year of my evocation masters _

Barry whistled, the sound echoing in his empty bedroom. 

> Evocation’s no joke. Good on you. 
> 
> _ thanks man i know _
> 
> _ er is it man? i just realized i know fuck all about you and we’ve been texting for like ten minutes straight _
> 
> _ i’m lup, she/her pronouns  _
> 
> _ if u try to pull shit about me stating my pronouns then i’m blocking ur number  _

Barry’s eyes widened. Oh no, had he come off as that much of a dick? He definitely hadn’t meant to. 

> No no don’t worry! I’m Barry, he/him pronouns. It’s nice to “meet” you I guess haha. 
> 
> _ cool cool _
> 
> _ is barry short for something? _

Barry muffled a groan. Here it came. 

> Well my full name is Sildar.
> 
> _ barry from sildar huh? _
> 
> Yeah. It’s kind of a long story. 
> 
> _ no worries _
> 
> _ i was just curious _
> 
> _ lup isn’t short for anything btw _
> 
> _ sometimes my brother’ll call me lulu but that’s just him _
> 
> _ he’ll do it when he’s trying to get out of shit as if a nickname will endear me to him _
> 
> _ spoiler alert: it won’t _

Barry smiled, remembering his own siblings. 

> My sisters would try to do that to me too. But everyone calls me Barry so it didn’t really  have any impact. The worst was when they called me Sildy. Can’t stand that. 
> 
> _ omg yeah sildy is an awful nickname _

They went on texting, trading stories about their siblings or their time in undergrad or their favorite restaurants. Lup seemed to take personal offense to the fact that Barry practically lived on ramen and takeout and Barry was impressed to learn that Lup was trying to get an internship with the Institute of Planar Research  _ and  _ that she had a really good shot at it. 

They texted until suddenly it was four in the morning and Barry was glad he didn’t have class until 5:00pm. He yawned right as he got another message from Lup 

> _ ah shit it’s like 4am  _
> 
> _ i defo should’ve gone to sleep already _
> 
> _ talking with u was just so easy i lost track of time _

Barry blushed. 

> Uh me too. 

Then he realized how that might sound. He didn’t want to scare Lup off with pseudo-flirting. She was the first person who wasn’t a professor that he’d had a conversation with in a long time. She was the first person that he  _ enjoyed  _ having a conversation with in a long time. And he liked to think that she’d enjoyed having a conversation with him too. 

> Lost track of time, that is. 
> 
> _ well i’m gonna squeeze in a quick few hours of meditation (elf and all that)  _
> 
> _ i assume ur gonna wanna get some sleep? or meditation? _
> 
> Sleep, yeah. I’m human. 
> 
> _ cool cool _
> 
> _ i’ll definitely be conscious before u so text me when u wake up!  _
> 
> _ and have a good rest ;) _

Barry stared at his phone, fighting back another yawn. He smiled at the little screen before he could fully comprehend the message. When he realized what Lup had sent, his eyes widened. What did that mean? He couldn’t exactly ask her. Barry had been out of the dating game for a while, trying to focus more on getting his degree now that he was in grad school (really, he just hadn’t met many people interested in him lately. Barry fell hard and he fell fast as evidenced by the fact that he was considering asking Lup out on a date after knowing her for just a few hours, but not everyone was like that with him.) Was this how people flirted?

He went to bed wondering how he managed to find someone so interesting through the weirdest circumstance, someone who seemed to be interested in him.

 

* * *

 

Barry woke up around noon, tired and achy and wishing he could go back to sleep, but Barry’s body was fickle and once he was up and the sun was shining, he was up for good. And if he was already up, well, he was asked to do something when he was conscious. 

He grabbed his phone off of his nightstand and opened up his most recent messages. 

> Hey. 
> 
> _ ayyy barold!  _
> 
> Barold???
> 
> _ how’s it goin? _
> 
> _ yeah, u know. the long form of barry obvi _
> 
> Haha, I haven’t heard that one before.
> 
> _ that’s a Lup Original™ _
> 
> _ trademarking that shit _
> 
> Actually ™ is for unregistered trademarks. It would be more official if you had a ®
> 
> _ yeah but idk how to do that with my phone _
> 
> _ i’ll defo learn tho _
> 
> _ google it or smth _
> 
> Haha cool.
> 
> _ u never answered my question tho _
> 
> _ how’s it goin??? _
> 
> It’s going good now that I’m talking to you.

And then Barry went ramrod straight because that was probably the worst possible way he could’ve said that if he wanted to continue being friends with Lup for the foreseeable future. 

> I’m sorry. I just mean that you’re really fun to talk to and it’s livening up my morning. So thank you I guess?
> 
> _ haha no worries babe _

Now why’d she have to call him that? Barry thanked every god out there that she couldn’t see his tomato-red face.

> _ i like talking to you too _
> 
> _ i haven’t spoken to like. a new person since i moved out here for school _
> 
> _ don’t get me wrong! i love talking to my old friends, they’re practically family _
> 
> _ but sometimes a girl wants something new ya know? _
> 
> I know. I don’t actually have very many friends here. I mean, there’s the guy on the  necromancy ethics board that keeps trying to shut down my major that I get coffee with  every once in awhile because he’s charming, but I don’t think he really counts as  a “friend”
> 
> _ :oooo who’s this charming man u get coffee with? _
> 
> _ u holdin out on me barold? _
> 
> Oh, no one. Just this grad student majoring in religious studies with a concentration in
> 
> the Raven Queen. I think his name is Kravitz?
> 
> _ SHUT UP _

Barry’s eyes widened. 

> ???
> 
> _ THAT’S TAAKO’S BOYFRIEND _
> 
> Yeah, his boyfriend is named Taako. How do you know that?
> 
> _ THAT’S MY BROTHER _
> 
> Barry laughed out loud. 
> 
> You’re brother is the Taako he always talks about? The one I’ve met once?
> 
> _ holy shit this is wild _
> 
> _ i can’t believe u met taako before u met me  _
> 
> _ well, now u know what i look like considering the twins thing _

Barry hadn’t thought about that. He only had a hazy memory of meeting Kravitz’s boyfriend on a cloudy Sunday afternoon that was apparently date night. Taako had come to lead Kravitz to their destination, saying it was a surprise. He even went so far as to blindfold him. He remembered Taako being dressed in absurdly bright colors and even more absurd patterns that seemed to work for him just fine. He also remembered the elf being ridiculously pretty, Barry could only imagine what Lup looked like then. 

He was glad she couldn’t see him blushing. 

> Wow. 
> 
> _ that a good wow babe?? _

He was hurriedly typing a response before he could think about it. 

> Definitely a good wow! 
> 
> _ well it’s not a 1 to 1  _
> 
> _ i have more piercings than taako _
> 
> _ and my hair is shorter, got a sweet undercut _
> 
> _ but pretty damn close _

Barry tried to edit the memory of Taako in his mind. He was still blushing up a storm. 

> What a wild coincidence.
> 
> _ yeah... _
> 
> _ it’s like a sign _
> 
> _ we should meet up! _
> 
> _ like go for coffee or smth _
> 
> _ eat some ridiculous pastry at my brother’s restaurant _
> 
> _ actually scratch that i’m not taking you on a date to my brother’s restaurant   _
> 
> _ maybe to the davy lamp?  _

Barry stared at his phone, the word “date” seemed to be all-caps and bolded in his mind. It was bright red and screaming at him. He lay in his bed trying to process what was happening. Lup had said date. She wanted to take him on a date. A real date. With him. And Lup. 

Apparently he took too long to respond because her next message was less than enthusiastic.

> _ or we don’t have to  _
> 
> _ we can just keep texting no prob _
> 
> _ barry? _

He scrambled to reply

> No! No I’d love to meet up. For a date. With you. 

The reply was instantaneous

> _ sweet _
> 
> _ when are u free?? _
> 
> Would tomorrow at 3:00pm work? Or is that too soon?
> 
> _ that’s perfect _
> 
> _ i gotta put my phone up because i have class _
> 
> _ but i’m excited _
> 
> _ we can meet at the davy lamp and see where the afternoon takes us _
> 
> _ text u later! ;) _

Barry smiled. He had a date. 

 

* * *

 

At 2:00pm, Barry arrived at the Davy Lamp. He had on a white button-up as opposed to his usual white t-shirt, and he was wearing his best jeans. His hair was its usual mess, but he’d done his best to shape it into something attractive. He’d even cleaned his glasses. 

At 2:05pm, Barry realized his mistake. 

He was stuck here, waiting anxiously for Lup to arrive, too much nervous energy to do much of anything besides obsessively check his texts in case she decided to send him something. He couldn’t even pace because he was in public and he’d look very weird. Instead, he tried to flip through the old newspapers that the Davy Lamp had laying around, but he wasn’t processing any information he was reading. 

He didn’t want to order anything since Lup could come at any moment and he didn’t know if it would be rude to already be drinking coffee when she arrived. He really hadn’t been on a date in a long time. 

At 2:32pm, someone wearing a red leather jacket who looked eerily like the elf Barry met that was dating Kravitz stepped into the Davy Lamp, glancing around curiously. Barry could hardly breathe. She was the most beautiful woman that he’d had ever seen. He didn’t know whether to run and hide or introduce himself. He didn’t really get the opportunity to decide because Lup’s eyes settled on him and she smiled something sharp and made her way over to him. 

“Are you Barry?” She asked. 

Barry’s throat felt like it was closing up, but he choked out a, “Y-yeah. Hi, Lup.”

She laughed and it was a wonderful noise, “Taako told me to look for the nerd, but I knew you’d be cute too.” Before he could respond to  _ that  _ she stuck out a hand, “Nice to formally meet you.”

He shook her hand, trying not to worry about how sweaty his palm definitely was, “Nice to—uh—nice to meet you too.”

He gestured to a couple of seats he’d been saving and they both sat down. There was a silence for a few seconds that Barry was sure was a sign that this relationship was doomed to awkwardness. 

And then Lup said, “You’ll never guess the shit Taako pulled this morning.”

Barry laughed, “Yeah?”

“Yeah! I was gonna text you about it but I figured I should save it for in person so you get the full Lup Storytelling Experience, complete with hand gestures.” And she proceeded to tell him a wild story about Taako, Lup’s favorite pair of shoes, some gum that had all but melted, and Taako’s afternoon lunch date. True to her word, there were a lot of hand gestures. 

They went on like that for hours, exchanging stories about their lives. It felt—natural. Right. Being together felt good. Barry couldn’t remember the last time he’d clicked this fast with someone. It was like they were meant to meet. 

It was going on 7:00pm when Lup said, “I should probably head back to my place, I promised Taako we’d cook together tonight.”

“Oh,” Barry tried not to let his sadness show. Lup had things she needed to do and that was fine. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

She winked at him as she was getting up from the comfy armchairs they’d been sitting in, “I had fun, though.”

“Me too!” Barry said, a little too enthusiastically. “I mean—I did too. Have fun. With you.”

“Don’t strain yourself, babe,” Lup smiled. 

Barry was sure his face was as bright red as Lup’s leather jacket, but he smiled back, “We should do this again soon—or whenever is good really, it doesn’t have to be soon but—I like spending time with you.”

“Definitely,” and Lup shrugged on her jacket, “I’ll text you?”

“Yeah!” He coughed, “Yeah, I’ll—uh—I’ll text you too.”

Lup leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, whispering, “See you soon, babe,” in his ear before walking out of the Davy Lamp with swaying hips. 

Barry sighed. She was really something.


End file.
